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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

perasaan ini


Assalamualaikum sahabat.. sudah lama tidak menjengah di sini. entah kenapa, aku sendiri tidak punya jawapannya. Abaikan, bukan itu yang utama aku kembali di sini meluangkan masa.

Hhmm apa agaknya khabar mereka yang terlebih dahulu meninggalkan kita menghadap Dia? soalan random kan? tidakk bukan random. sejak dua menjak ini, soal hidup mati sering berlegar di mindaku. cuma hari ini saja baru terdetik hati aku untuk meluahkan rasa, untuk cuba mengubah pusingan hidup yang penuh sia-sia.

kalian pernah rasa takut untuk tidur? tidak, bukan insomnia. tapi ketakutan untuk melelapkan mata kerana takut tiada lagi hari esok untuk melihat dunia buat sekalian kalinya. Yes! itu yang aku alami sejak akhir-akhir ini. aku jadi takut untuk tidur, kadang-kadang bila hampir terlelap, aku bingkas bangun kerana khuatir aku akan pergi selamanya. Yeah itulah hakikat yang kita tidak boleh lari bukan? setiap yang bernyawa pasti merasai kematian.

terukkah aku sampai takut begitu? tak menerima hakikat kematian? bukan. aku cuma takut, aku akan pergi dalam keadaan yang penuh dosa dan noda. aku manusia, manusia yang lalai sentiasa. aku takut pengakhiran ku nanti suatu yang buruk dan tidak diredhaiNya.

usianya panjang, amalnya kurang. apakah ini rasa bila ajal semakin menjelma? Allahu Allah  :(

Ampuni aku Tuhan. maafkan aku rakan, dan setiap yang mengenali diri ini. moga kita beroleh redhaNya.



2 comments:

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Si Tracey said...

wor..pernah juga rasa macam tu..once...quite scary owh...

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